How to Say No in a Nice Way(in an Email)

Emails / By

There are many people who struggle to say the word “no.” Whether it’s at home or in the workplace, knowing how to appropriately set boundaries regarding our responsibilities is an important part of maintaining our mental, emotional, and even physical health.

To politely say no in an email, you’ll want to begin with addressing the invitation to participate or the responsibility. Note gratitude for being considered before calmly declining. If you have a set reason, explain it; otherwise, simply end the email and move on. Further insistence may require more firm denial.

Here’s how to politely say “no” in an email.

Why Saying No Might Seem Rude

There’s nothing wrong with saying “no.” Many people feel uncomfortable rejecting or denying requests because they feel pressure to be accepted or to be “good enough,” and feel that by saying “no,” they’ll either disappoint or upset people or be viewed as incapable or weak.

This simply isn’t true, though; setting healthy boundaries can make you more productive, confident, and capable in the long run by ensuring you don’t experience burnout. There are times when we have to say “no” to requests because we are either at our working capacity for projects or feel in some way opposed to the task at hand.

How to Say No in a Nice Way

So, there is nothing inherently rude or mean about saying “no” to a project. To say “no” politely, you simply need to follow standard rules of email etiquette. Use calm, professional phrasing and try to avoid blaming or shaming. As an aside, it’s a good idea to put the subject of the request in the subject line so that your recipient knows what the email is going to be about and can quickly find it as a reference.

The only real change to the standard etiquette is that you may choose to provide a reason for your denial, but even that’s optional; you don’t owe anyone an explanation for establishing boundaries. That being said, if you are denying a request on moral grounds, you may want to mention it as your reason so you will not be asked to perform similar tasks in the future.

To say “no” in a nice way, simply acknowledge the request, deny it, explain your denial if you want to, and move on. If pressed, remain calm but firm in your denial; you may choose to cite your previous email.

If the requester continues to demand your participation, you may have to involve higher authorities.

Saying No Email Templates

Here’s a simple template for denying a request with a reason.

SUBJECT: Re: [Request]

Hi [Name],

I appreciate your thinking of me in regard to [Request], however I must decline at this time. This is because [Reason].

Thank you again.

Regards,

[Name]

Similarly, here’s how you might say no without a reason.

SUBJECT: Re: [Request]

Hi [Name],

Thank you for thinking of me for [Request], however I cannot accept it at this time.

Regards,

[Name]

Notice that these templates are very concise and simple without being overly blunt. If the question is pressed, you may choose to respond with something like this.

SUBJECT: Re: [Request]

Hi [Name],

Per my last email, I will not be accepting [Request]. I will not be further responding on this matter.

Regards,

[Name]

Once again, you do not owe anyone your reasoning outside of special circumstances (such as your being the only qualified person for the task or it being a previous assignment). Those that demand reasoning can either be ignored or referred to the appropriate authority on the matter.

 

Conor
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